Half the battle is knowing what you want....

No easy task.
In time we find out more and more about ourselves.
I get jealous of the people that seem to just know what they want.
Life partners, jobs, furniture/design, cities to live, food, etc.
Choice is daunting.
decisions, decisions.

self protection can cast you away, find ur real Wilson

Through our very nature we aim to self preserve and pro-create - I'm talking on a genetic animal level. Natural selection and we want to win. And most people do what they gotta do to do so - dog eat dog world. Or sometimes we retreat to protect. Fight em or flight from em....

 

I want to talk on about an everyday emotional plane, emotions like happy/sad, calm/crazy, anger, satisfied, etc. Emotions carry us through a day - making or breaking it. Many things effect it - physical, biochemical, sleep, food, etc.

And we have to create personas, perceptions, and ways to guard ourselves from the harsh realities of everyday life and the emotions that make us tick. We aim to protect our experience, our future, as we are the only ones looking out for "I".

 

These protections can create deep rooted barriers which stop us from getting the very things we want.  Like Love.  In order to not lose control when a certain someone strikes our fancy. If we fall into the whimsical idea of love, we are likely to get hurt, right?

 

Love is a hard concept and emotion to fully understand. But it is one of the things they say is our purpose for being here. All things stem from love.

Love is magical.

 

Love is vulnerability. Its like being naked on your first day of school and realising it is not a dream - I just forgot my darn pants. You have to put yourself out there and possible get really hurt.

 

Love blinds. Love is irrational.

 

This makes love amazing but also the very thing that makes you uncontrollable.  In order to be in control and not deal with the uncertainty that comes along with the feelings, we hide them and block the possibility of Love with barriers.



 

 

If you are on that island protecting yourself and building a shield know that love can build bridges. But first you have to get to work on your end and meet it half way.

Search within to understand your barriers, know that the very thing we hide from (consciously or unconsciously) is likely the thing that we want.  Its like when you dislike someone, if you look hard enough it is things within them that you dislike within you (reflective feelings).

 

I do not want to be on that island - talking to a volleyball but rather finding a real Wilson. So I too, am trying to find some wood to help build that bridge across.

choose to be fearless

We will never be without fear and anxiety. So by being fearless, it is about not being without but rather pushing through it to learn from it.

Its part of getting through life and growing. Even though...it still blows!

Again another great article on Positively Positive around fear:
http://www.positivelypositive.com/2012/08/24/fearlessly-facing-a-life-threatening-diagnosis/

AND 4 life choices to combat fear:
1. Creating Present Moment Awareness (as simple as a pause to breath and create space)
2. Staying Physically Fit
3. Being in a Good Relationship
4. Speaking and Feeling Health into Being


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A story, a struggle, a way for hope

read this - everyone has a story...through their stories we can find connection, realizations and hopefully a bit of relief...direction towards making life a little easier...

http://www.positivelypositive.com/2012/05/21/the-most-important-part-of-your-health/

The Fuel of Action

WILL is the fuel of action. Will is an internal sense of desire; a simple wanting and taking simple steps in the direction of those desires.

Step 1: what do you want? Tomorrow? Next week? Next Year? Think about it.

Will you get out of bed tomorrow?
Will you eat today?
Will you go out tonight?

Maybe easy questions.

Will you challenge yourself to be more than you are?
Will you accept yourself as you are?
Will you stop worrying what others think?
Will you face your fears?
Will you push yourself to do things that seem impossible?

Maybe not so easy.

It is not CAN, it is WILL. Simply yes or no?


Humans have "will" which is the general capacity to have desires and act (power) deliberately to achieve them.

Like everything we need to deconstruct something in order to understand. We do this to the self, in order to find ways to improve/grow. And our ultimate human desire is to find happiness (whatever that may be to each of us) and this is achieved/actioned by following your own true willpower.

If you want to find it and wish it to be, then it will come. But no...its not magic.

But simple action like general hope and thought in the right direction are putting the wheels in motion. And more effort or just energy at its simplest will help.

Blow the seeds into the wind, and the universe will help grow the flowers of your desires. 

But it takes time and again some kind of effort (to do or NOT do). This reminds me of The Secret, a great extension of this simple idea of The Fuel of Action. Also Manifesting your Destiny by Mike Dooley is another actionable approach to HOW to get what you find - put that fuel on the fire.

Now what I see as the phenomenon, is the fact that people want things but they do not take any sort of action  - it is like they are are not to the point where they want it enough to make the effort or there may be things like physical addictions stopping them (addiction being to laziness, contentment, sorrow, mental barriers, self pity, drugs, etc).

Failure to act comes when the desire to want does not out weight the fuel of action needed to ignite effort.

Its an interesting concept to explore because it is hard to know what is just wanting something else (not being content cause its our nature) vs really needing to take action to get out of a rut, to better yourself.

Many of our "goal posts" continually move as we get closer to (you never will seem to lose enough weight or get fit enough). Its a fact we feel better about ourselves when we are healthy (proud to be putting in the effort to exercise), we feel better around others, our attitudes improve, etc. But the "doing it" part seems to always fall to the waste side. Maybe it is because the goalpost moves and that defeats our willpower?



You might thinking I have NO willpower, cause I see that chocolate cake and I am eating that before I can even think twice. Saturday morning comes and I am so on that couch with the cartoons on, vs running that mile.

BUT everyone has a Devil on their shoulder so its just finding the "will" to overpower "him" more times than it controls you.


OK soooooo we have desires and actions.
How can we understand our desires and take action to get it?

1. Try listing out what you want today, tomorrow, next month, next year and in the next 5 years
2. For each thing, write 1 thing you think you need to do or not do to get that desire
3. Write a sticky note that says "you can do it, I believe" put it on your mirror and say it out loud each day
4. Know you might take 10 steps back before 1 forward

A great talk worth listening to in showing the power of positive thoughts/actions - http://www.ted.com/talks/shawn_achor_the_happy_secret_to_better_work.html


Key stat/advice:
-2 minutes of action, 21 days in a row, changes your thought pattern and in the end creating a more productive and efficient person.



The conclusion:
- WILL is the fuel of action
- There is no CAN in WILL
- Simple steps to ignite your fuel

Practicing what you preach aint easy....

As embark on yet another relocation to another big city...maybe the biggest this go, NYC, I cannot help but sit here and realise its time to put into practice all this mumbo jumbo you go on about. Mind control, present moment, confidence, perspective, no what if's, etc. 

Step up, step in and step to it.

Time to walk the walk and put my theory into practice (TIP).

Remembering that even if I let myself down, I am human and trying to figure this out too. The trick is to just try and know that you didn't fail at the hardest step...the first one.

And even if the next few steps are you stumbling backwards. More can be said and more growth can be seen with the first step alone.

Here we go.

The Nasty Need of Validation - the SPIF revolution

Why do we need someone else to validate who we are, the actions that we take and anything for that matter.  For some reason when a person says how *wonderful* (insert affirmative word) you are, you kind of believe in yourself a little more.  Even if it is someone we barely know.

Doubts come - like clouds in the sky and validation is like the wind. But why I question.

If there were an easy exit to remind us of our self worth, I'd put that blinker on to get on that highway with a quickness.

I feel there is a lot more genY'ers (twenty something and younger) on this hwy, I look at them with a bit of envy; "you little kittens, walking around like lions". Do you really have that much confidence on the inside? Or is it just a party on the outside?

I do think you can be of a self-worth mind set and still crave validation. And the genY'ers are just externally and vocally projecting in order to get that validation.








I think somehow the mind on its own should be able to find the strength to be self sufficient.  One of life's mission is grow in the direction of being mentally self-sufficient. This way  contentment/happiness would be found more easily.

However, we are social creatures, we thrive to find this connection and almost need it for a sense of completeness for the journey of life.  Double edge sword.

OK the SPIF (Social Pay it Forward) Revolution -

 

WHY?
I would LOVE to help drive a bit of daily selfless giving. But it might just be a pipe dream, with no legs but hey, dream big or go home.

Its a nice idea.

WHAT?
Imagine being able to give without needing money. To make someones day with a little note.

Its simple.

So many people post their status updates, really just fishing for some support. And there is NOTHING wrong with it.

IE:
status: "do not think today is going to be a good day, everything sux."
Reading between the lines: hey guys, you're my friends, please help me make it through the day, are you out there"


SPIF: Its proactive vs reactive.


HOW?
I think everyday we go to one of our unnecessarily large facebook "friends" list, pick one and give them a random little boost.

Its easy.

Maybe a reason why they are your friend. 
Maybe just a "hey you are great and lots of people look up to you, just saying",
"you can make today a good day,
"just remember you are special and live today like there is no tomorrow".


Starting the post with SPIF, so people do not think its an odd stalker post.
"SPIF: I remember in high school you were a leader, a motivator and someone not enough people knew - I am sure today you are even better. Keep on, keeping on."

"SPIF: you are so beautiful. I do not know you that well but our paths crossed at some point. And I just think you are going to have a great day and get through all of life's challenges.

"SPIF: "Today you are on my mind. Keep being amazing."


WHEN?
Sometimes I feel death brings these reminders out. But why not do it when people are still alive. It is good to see, read and know that people do care. And think you are special.

Life is bloody hard. Imagine having the real support of "friends" to help get you through. And the support is as simple as words - YOU can do this.

THE SPIF REVOLUTION.

External validation will take a back seat when one can find the strength to control the mind, and happiness is at our finger tips once we realise we are not that voice.

But for now help a friend out - SPIF 'em.