no more pass card, thank you skinny biatch

I have been giving my self a "pass card" when it comes to a few postures.  I didn't realise I was doing it until the other day.  And I justified my pass card because I felt my skinny-ish arms deserved it and it was not necessary for me to have that much muscle to do them, right? I never want Madonna freakishly strong body, its just not for me.

I am not the one in class that rushes to do a pose because it looks cool. I want my body to be ready for the pose and to do it right. And no its not an lazy excuse, no really, at least I didn't think so. 
Anyway, its never been about showing off or competing, that's one reason I love yoga.  I try to let go of caring about others opinions on the mat and its helping off the mat as well. Validation is an interesting human need, the more you let go of it the lighter/free-er you feel. More complete.

However, I do want to ensure I am progressing and practicing what I preach about finding the edge in each pose. So the other day was in "extended forward bend", as the blood was rushing to my head, upside down, I peered between my legs was amazed when I noticed this super skinny girl, shoot right up into headstand. I mean her bicep was as big as my wrist. I was intrigued, so I kept my eye on her and saw her do side crow without breaking a sweat. This is when I realised I need to start trying these postures.

I know I shy away from things I do not know exactly what I am doing and I also have fear; lots of it stored away inside to come out at undesired times.  In the inversions, I fear falling, hurting my self or more so my unsuspecting neighbor.

Hall pass is now in the garbage Tracy, its time to figure out a way to face some of these arm balancing and inversion postures. If I do not try and face the fear on the mat, I will not be able to do the things I need to do off the mat.

So when I say thank you skinny biatch for indirectly making me throw the "pass cards" away, I am sincere. I promise.