"HAPPY takes us on a journey from the swamps of Louisiana to the slums of India. The documentary invites the globe to get happy."
Find your flow, and do it often = more happiness:
Great ideas from a book called "FLOW, the psychology of optimal experience"
FLOW: explained (not simply) as synergistic aspects of consciousness. It is like when you are fulfilled with this sense of accomplishment, you are doing something you enjoy to do, you do it well and nothing else seems to matter when you are doing it. Other aspects: you know what is next, you are in control, forget problems, you get into a rhythm, forget yourself (the ego disappears). Life feels more valuable and worth living.
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Flow can happen anywhere - your personal time (dancing), at work, cooking, cleaning, rock climbing, yoga.
Experience flow on a regular basis, feel happy more often.
Baseline function and our brains:
We typically function on a "baseline" - not too happy, not too sad. We are getting by. L I V I N G.
Our brains work on a compare and contrast basis: there is no pleasure without pain. So when we have both good and bad experiences happen, we know that those respective feelings only last for a short time. ie: I get disappointed from not getting a job, I feel sucky for a few days and bounce back with another application (which I shall be putting in today :)). I go on a great date and feel happy (happy might only lasts a while if he doesn't call back).
So its important to remember this when you are within a situation, specifically a crappy one. This too shall pass.
The research into emotions show that the bad experience really enable people to understand things from a deep perspective. There is something about when you fall and get back up; you are much stronger than before. And within these experiences you can find an ah-ha moment and you can recover from adversity faster, back to baseline quicker.
I had a really crappy thing happen my senior year in High School, my house burned down. I was weighed down by post-traumatic stress and anger. It took years for me to look back and really understand the importance of that event. But I now feel that I lessened my reliance on material things, started to really value people more (and my animals and both were saved) and after going through that event I was a little rough on the edges. I felt that I "endured", I gained this sense I had a story, survived a hard experience (not comparing to others and there are heaps of worse things obviously). But its just this sense of getting knocked around and feeling better from it. No pain, no gain right?!
Madonna said it: "you know that we are living in a material world" - we are taught to acquire not how to manage our reactions:
What we are told in our society is the way to be happy - we are driven to focus on making more money, work your way up the career ladder, get fancy cars and clothes. Stuff.
But we do not get tools to work on the inside - the emotions.
Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it. And we have to learn this at random.
Interestingly, when you a see a graph of yearly income crossed with happiness, the general happiness graph line is pretty constant. When basic needs are met, more money doesn't seem to buy more happiness. "Anyone that says money doesn't buy happiness, then talk to someone under a bridge. Someone who say money buys you happiness then talk to Bill Gates."
It's due to the "hedonic treadmill": as humans we have a great ability to adapt. And as we acquire things and start to live materially "richer" lives we adapt. It become normal and we always will want more. It is the enemy of happiness.
Understand your goals - internal and externally:
What are your goals? Are they goals for you or for what you want others to think of you? Is the MBA going to make your father proud finally? Is the need for the BMW to show your status?
Some of this is ok - it is just about being aware of what you would really get from achieving your goals. Cause I guarantee it will be anti climatic when you realise people do not really care that much about your stuff.
This exercise will prove that the effort you put in certain areas will shift and the effects will only yield positive results in your life.
Love the research in the documentary about extrinsic goals vs intrinsically goals:
-external: wealth/money, image (look good), status/popularity
-internal (needs we all have): personal growth (be who I really am), relationship (closeness), community feeling (help the world be a better place).
Different sides of the values system. They find that external goals will bring less happiness and fulfillment.
The film discussed the impact of the intense work ethic in Japan. In order to rebuild after WWI, the shift of focus went towards work and away from family. Achieving status and things, this nation is literally working themselves to death.
Pursuit of economic growth was at the detriment of culture, environment, social systems. GDP is not enough. In Bhutan, the government look at a Gross National Happiness (vs Product) - "whats going to make our people happy"? The answer is within the self, because fleeting pleasures does not help with contentment.
In Denmark, schooling is free and health care. Also there are co community living which seems great. LOVE the different ways of living in other countries. Importance of relationships, connection, support, help is a unique dynamic for both the parents and kids.Quotes I really like:
"I don't understand and I don't need to understand"
"Social connection is intrinsically programed into us, it is fulfilling"
"Through intention we can change our brain (literally it gets thicker)."
"Happiness is a skill, like learning the violin."
"Happiness, the more you have, the more everyone has."
There truly is so many differently ways to live. But the "net" is we want to be happy, shift your goals, and FLOW as much as possible. Don't worry, be happy.
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